Friday, October 1, 2010
A Cycle Repeats
Prelims has ended not long ago and everyone has been collecting their results for the past one week. It causes quite a lot of stress when we don't know what grades are we getting. I understand the worries people will have when they are uncertain about their performance. Sometimes my worries came true and sometimes it doesn't. Although most of the time I ended up screwing up certain subjects. Some people may think I have too high expectations because I'm always aiming for As and sees other grades as being screwed up. However,they always fail to realize how much things have I neglected in order to obtain the grades that I want. Well I need to be more positive looking. Even if I obtain the grade I was initially planning for, I would feel pretty sad if I didn't fair as well as the rest. It's like I'm increasing my expectations when my initial target was lower. Well, I have one last part of my results left to collect, Econs essays. Hope, i can pass the essays at least. I really really hope i can pass the essays. Shall not keep my expectations too high so that I'll not be too disappointed.
Sometimes I feel desperate and it's probably because of more stress. However, I'll always try to forget about BF or anything else and just immense myself in work. I ended up becoming a robot as a result. So even though I may feel desperate for a girl, I'll try not to think about it too much and let fate does its job. I promise that I'll try not to think of BF anymore and just live life as usual.
Sigh, life kinda sucks when all the things i does is just studying. Well it has been like this all along. There are ups and downs in life and we must pull through the difficult times. We must learn from our past mistakes and emulate our past successes. Though it can be exhausting and draining, we must always try our best. We may become sad when we don't get the things we want, but then life still goes on. It is not easy to cope with these problems and sometimes it may take a long time for us to get over it. However, I think this is part of the growing up process which makes us stronger physically and mentally. Lol although I may understand all these stuffs, but whether can I put them into practice is the real challenge.
Sometimes, I think I maybe drawing some attention (not trying to boast or something) and this makes me feel compelled to behave less actively and more quietly. It's like I can't be myself. It's probably I don't want to show any flaws to people I'm not close to. Although, I may feel quite happy about it, but on the other hand, I don't feel free and easy. Hope, I can get over this and just be who I want to be.
Well, everyone is starting their revision and I think BF is doing that too. Lol speaking about BF, I think I'm losing my peripheral vision because I don't spot her as easily now. In the past even when I'm not looking directly at other places, Ill notice her when she walks pass. Nowadays, my radar is not performing as well compared to the past. Kind of tiring to keep studying. I need to have a break soon so as to maintain a good mental health. Many people tends to neglect their mental health as they thought by revising more they would do better. However, this leads to more stress and it tends to be counterproductive. On the other hand, some people may end up resting too much and hence they didn't really revised anything. Knowing this, I'll try to keep myself happy all the time as I become stressed up easily lol. Time really flies, 2 years is almost over. How sad it is, I will miss school life. It will be a lot on discipline once I enters army. Lol this is something I should worry later otherwise my brain would be overloaded.
Love to blog after every few weeks because there is so much to reflect on. Although my life story may not be as interesting as others, but I think it definitely shows how much have I changed or grown. For now I'll try my best to be stress free because I work best without stress while some people may need a little stress to push themselves. Ok! thats all for now! This time round, it will be studying for As!!!
Labels: BF, Life, Work
Innocence
9:26 PM
